Ironically, I also took a break from eating clean(ish) yesterday.
I had so weirdly been craving a "Big Kid Grilled Cheese" and "Creamy Tomato Soup" from Panera. I am a huge sucker for any form of tomato soup and grilled cheese. It was a rainy day, I had worked out hard all week and wanted to indulge a little. Why not, right?
I've heard many times before that most people who are trying to eat "clean" allow themselves a "cheat day." However I've never really been able to grasp this concept.
Apparently you eat as healthy as possible all week and allow yourself to eat whatever you want one day. In theory, whatever you eat on this day shouldn't affect your body that much because you've kept yourself healthy otherwise.
There's a couple of reasons I have a problem with this:
- A day to indulge could easily lead me to binge on anything/everything I wouldn't normally eat
- Once I have one "bad" day, it's usually pretty difficult for me to not have a few more "bad" days before I snap out of it
- I think a cheat day may leave me feeling like I've failed or am simply making an excuse for eating something "un-clean"
There's no way I'm going to go a whole summer without having sweets or a sub every once and awhile - and to be completely honest, I don't think I should have to. If we're really going to look at the nitty gritty, those foods make me happy sometimes! And isn't getting back to happiness what this is all about?
If I can change my perception of indulging and not look at it as having a "bay day," maybe my brain can start to rewire and I'll begin to view food differently. Instead I'd like to look at this cheat day as something I deserve or have earned. I just need a new name for it. I don't want food to be a "reward" for me and "cheat" sounds so negative. Any ideas?
I also think a cheat day could help me to find some balance with my food intake. After I had lunch from Panera yesterday, I didn't really feel the need to keep eating. Mind you I did grab a handful of chips from the pantry and I was a little protective when my mom asked if she could have some of the cookie I got for desert BUT it could have been worse.
I was thinking about going for some ice cream we had stashed in the freezer but I stopped myself when I realized I was truly full.
Once I deemed yesterday my cheat day, I didn't feel nearly as guilty going out for dinner and drinks. In fact I think I enjoyed it more than I would have normally. I wanted ice cream after dinner in a slight moment of weakness, but again some part of me knew I was full. I think it was a sign from the heavens that abbotts was closed when I passed it.
SO, I'm proud of myself for allowing myself to indulge after a week of working so hard. I'm proud that so far today I've been back to eating clean and while my mind has wandered to unclean foods a little more than I would like, I have the comfort of knowing I can having another cheat day next week.
I'm proud that I didn't go completely crazy yesterday and probably didn't eat anything too overwhelming calorically. I have to laugh at myself when I think about how I was standing in line at Panera.
I was starving at this point and was planning to order the full sandwhich and full bowl of soup, instead of the infamous "You Pick Two" deal that they always have. But I really also wanted a chocolate chip cookie. Could I get all three? Did I NEED all three? What would create balance?
So I opted for the smaller portion and a cookie, which I split with Jess. It was the best of everything. Oh yeah, I find this funny because I changed my order with the worker a few times before I finally felt comfortable with what I was getting.
And that's okay, because I think I bonded with the worker and I'm glad I changed things around until I felt balanced.
Who knows, maybe in a week I'll find that a cheat day doesn't really work for me - that it's still restrictive and I find myself binging when I can cheat.
But I hope it's a beautiful mix of clean(ish) eating and learning how to indulge and enjoy.
*Updated calendar to appear tomorrow!
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